Although socially there is no prototype of possessive and despotic man, there are a number of common characteristics and attitudes that we can use to define it. Nevertheless, it is important to bear in mind that they can be very different individuals in terms of social and economic status, age, studies, religious beliefs, political tendencies and education.
Almost all individuals who fall into the category of possessive and despotic man they have the same way of establishing a relationship and maintaining it through conduct characterized by domination and authority. Sometimes masked by devious and kind gestures, others manifested without any scruple. Either way, over time they forge a prison in which they trap others.
What limits not to exceed?
The first alarm bells are contempt and rejection towards the partner. These are presented as simple tips for improvement, and are accompanied by questioning about every detail of the day. The problem is that little by little the victim loses his identity . She stops giving importance to any behavior that causes her suffering and pain. At the same time, measure every word he utters to please his partner.
At the beginning of the relationship it may be normal for a person to show concern about the activities that occupy the partner's daily life. Maybe texting or making calls. However, what's the limit?
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Worry when i The desire to receive information about the activities that the partner is carrying out turns into a real obsession. When interest becomes control. The problem is that the despotic personality does not usually show itself at the beginning of the relationship, but with the passage of time.
These attitudes can occur in both men and women. In this article, however, we will focus on the characteristics and behaviors that describe a possessive and despotic man. An insecure and suspicious individual.
'Defend your life, fight for independence, seek happiness and learn to love yourself'.
-Izaskun González-
Characteristics of a possessive and despotic man
Obsessive personality
The possessive and despotic man is characterized by an obsessive personality. Try to control everything around him. It always seems to be on the defensive. He gets angry easily and, at certain times, tries to contain his aggression .
Wanting to check where your partner is at all times, who they talk to or who theirs are friends turns into the fulcrum of the relationship. Although having already spoken to the partner about our plans for the day or where we will be, the possessive and despotic man will try to continually verify, by asking us or our family members and friends directly, the truthfulness of our words.
We must always remember that we are free people. Nobody has the right to decide who we can go out with or how we should dress. It would amount to a lack of respect as well as a limitation of our freedom.
Extreme jealousy
The jealousy it is generated as a response to deep feelings of insecurity. A lack of trust in yourself which is projected onto the partner. These feelings become more evident when you have the feeling that your partner's love has faded or when you feel afraid of no longer being the center of attention of your loved one. This feeling may not be real. The possessive and despotic man often fears abandonment. In addition, it manifests emotional dependence and chronic insecurity.
Most people are capable of relativizing this feeling and manifesting it in appropriate contexts. The possessive and despotic man, however, often shows difficulty in managing it. In this way, jealousy will eventually dominate him causing critical, despotic and in some cases even aggressive behavior.
Control of social networks and other devices
A possessive and domineering man, in addition to calling and texting several times a day, he often gets angry if he doesn't get an answer right away. When this happens at the beginning of a relationship, the wisest thing to do is talk about it. If he can't understand the situation, it's best to walk away. If, on the other hand, it occurs in the relationship of a stable couple, it is worth talking about it or consulting a specialist.
It must be understood that the mobile phone it's a personal item. Nobody should be monitoring our calls or messages, as they are part of our privacy.
Communication is important, but if calls are continuous, it can be telephone harassment. These aim to know where you are, with whom and what you are doing at that moment.
Possessive feelings
Coexistence with a possessive and despotic man is practically unsustainable. He can get to subdue and cancel the other person.
On the other hand, these subjects try a deep feeling of possession towards the partner , which they consider their property. They take the liberty of deciding on their partner regardless of her opinion. This attitude often leads to a condition of psychological abuse. In addition, it is common for the victim to be unable to see reality objectively due to self-deception.
In these situations, it is absolutely necessary to eliminate the concept of belonging to love , just like the belief that jealousy is a demonstration of this feeling. Love has nothing to do with possession, need or control, but with freedom, respect and trust. This is why it is important to establish certain limits in the relationship.
It is necessary that they love you as you are and above all that they appreciate and respect you.
Demanding a change in tastes and way of being
As a general rule, the possessive and despotic man will encourage his partner to put aside his hobbies and friends. He will try to prevent her from having interests that he cannot control.
In extreme cases, the possessive and despotic man it can lead to verbal or physical aggression so that the partner behaves and does everything he expects and desires. In these cases, both professional and legal help should be sought as soon as possible.
Finally, let's not forget that a couple relationship must be based on love, respect and the desire to help so that the partner grows.
'Wherever you fight for a space of dignity, wherever someone struggles to be free, look them in the eye and you'll see me.'
-Bruce Springsteen-
Psychological violence acts like water on stone
In this article we will discuss violence that can be inflicted in conjunction with physical violence or not. Let's talk about psychological violence.