Complicated periods are useful because they help us get stronger. Being strong does not, however, imply raising walls or barbed wire, but rather remembering that even from these stages of life you can learn to be happy.
Sooner or later, There comes a time in life when we have to learn to be strong . Life is capable of teaching us different ways to build our inner strength. Once this learning path is completed, we will be able to push ourselves, to give ourselves strength and to face any adversity. Sometimes, we forget a fundamental aspect: time is not only an opportunity to achieve our goals, but also to learn to be happy.
“Seek happiness here, nowhere else. And do it today, not tomorrow '. These words of the poeta Walt Whitman they couldn't be fairer. Yet, for those who have just faced a particularly difficult time, applying these tips is not always easy.
It is not, in the first place, because when we are going through difficult times, it takes a lot of effort to look at the present. Moreover, we walk the world in a defensive position , making sure that nothing of what happened can hit us again. We look to our past, remembering what happened and trying to learn from it so that we are prepared for what may happen in the future.
If you've been through a bad, complex, or traumatic time, don't force yourself to be strong , but rather try to be flexible. The temptation to be on the defensive can be very strong, along with the temptation to protect yourself so that no one can hurt you as has happened in the past.
“He who overcomes another is powerful; he who overcomes himself is superior. '
Learn to be strong and then learn to be happy
Daily life provides us with numerous opportunities to learn; as do our relationships, what we read and whatever we discover every second of our life. Yet, there is one aspect that is worth exploring: people who have gone through a difficult moment they don't always manage to give themselves new opportunities to be happy. A little as if they preferred to leave the house every day with an umbrella, even when it is not threatening to rain.
Antisthenes, Greek philosopher and founder of the cynical school, said that one of our purposes must be to make our soul an impregnable fortress. But what is the use of turning us into an impenetrable wall? Light will never pass through it, the interiors will always remain in the dark and, worst of all, its entrance inaccessible to all.
Who insists on wanting develop a strong personality at all costs often ends up living on the defensive for fear of being hurt again. But this is not the best strategy. Happiness, in fact, does not go along with fear or with defensive mechanisms.
Learn to be strong and happy by discovering your priorities
Since when Martin Seligman laid the foundations of positive psychology in the 90s, approaches in this field have changed. There have been many publications on how to be happy , under the pressure of self-styled gurus and writers who promise to provide the secret of happiness and personal fulfillment.
But those who have gone through a complicated and traumatic period do not always manage to obtain the desired help from these books. Experts on the subject, such as psychologists Jerome Wakefield of New York University, and Allan Horwitz of Rutgers University, have written a book entitled The loss of sadness . A text that tells some interesting aspects on this topic.
An example is that nowadays we give excessive priority to achieving happiness, whatever its price. We insist so much in this regard that, according to experts, we put aside our entire repertoire of emotions such as anguish, fear and sadness. Emotions that those who have had to face a delicate moment have accumulated in excess. How can we learn to be strong and, therefore, happy? What can these people do for achieve your personal well-being ?
Knowingly or unknowingly, these people possess an important advantage. Those who have not faced complicated moments, in fact, often tend to idealize the concept of happiness with the idea of a perfect family, a dream job or a trip of a lifetime. Those who have learned to be strong can give importance to simpler but fundamental things, such as calm , balance, the affection of loved ones and personal well-being.
Ultimately, it is these dimensions that form the basis for authentic happiness.
The secret of well-being is the combination of several factors
Life has made you strong, but now you must learn to be happy. You have had to face storms and moments of profound difficulty that they allow you now to look at yourself and know how to recognize yourself as determined people.
Yet, to this inner awareness you have to add other skills such as being flexible, receptive, knowing how to accept change and knowing how to look around to appreciate who walks by your side.
In the middle of this path lies a key that will allow you to work on your happiness. Perhaps the most important key of all, which Viktor E. Frankl told us at the time in his famous book The man in search of meaning . We refer to the ability to know how to give a purpose to one's life.
Give it a meaning, an intrinsic force that motivates and that can ignite our enthusiasm and our dreams. An inner engine that drives us every morning to try to give our best, to reach our goals and to put aside what is not significant. This is what we are all called to work on.
Be happier with 5 special habits
We can introduce some unique habits that can potentially enrich our life with meaning and allow us to be happier.