My partner doesn't help me around the house: we both work together

My partner doesn't help me around the house: we both work together

'My partner helps me with housework.' How many times have we heard this sentence? This now antiquated expression brings with it an implicit gender categorization that it is now necessary to reformulate. At home, no one should help anyone, because there is a shared responsibility, a team effort.

In our society, despite the progress, changes in mentality and all the small steps taken in the field of gender equality, the roots of the model of patriarchal family . A shadow that still hides behind the way of thinking of many people or in the inertia of language, in which the idea continues to survive that the man is the one who has to earn the money and the woman the one who has to look after the house and look after the children.

“Men and women must feel free to be strong. The time has come to see the two sexes as a whole, not as two opposite poles. We have to stop not trusting each other. '

-Emma Watson speech at the UN-

Nowadays, thinking that the responsibility for household chores and children rests exclusively with women is an antiquated idea , a memory of the past that doesn't make - or, at least - shouldn't make any sense anymore.

It is also true that it is not possible to indefinitely defend a division of tasks that is always 50 and 50. We must take into account that each couple is a world unto itself, each house has its own dynamics and it is its members who must establish how divide up commitments and responsibilities based on the time available. The work of the two partners is one of the factors that will undoubtedly determine how commitments should be managed in a fair, complicit and respectful way.

We invite you to reflect on it with us!


Times have changed (at least a little)

Times have changed: now we are different, we are new people, more courageous and with many more challenges to face than our grandparents or, at least, this is what we want to believe and what we want to fight for. However, many obstacles still remain to be overcome. The wage difference between women and men or equal opportunities are some of the factors that still suffer from a strong one inequality between the sexes . These are complex struggles that women are still waging on.

However, when it comes to responsibilities in the home, housework and childcare, great strides have been made in gender equality. It is obvious that each of you will have your own personal experience, and that in every country, every city and every house you live a different situation, which influences our point of view on the subject.

the five stages of mourning

In fact, the British news agency Reuters published an interesting study with a provocative title a few years ago “Having a partner means 7 more hours of work per week for a woman '. This sentence is a clear indication that inequality in housework is still a problem, even if progress has been made compared to the data collected in 1976, where the difference was 26 hours.

While a few decades ago the woman completely assumed her role as a housewife, today her figure has finally left the domestic sphere and is also present in the public spheres that were once the exclusive territory of men. However, sharing the same spaces does not always mean having obtained the same opportunities or the same rights.


Sometimes many women they take responsibility in both spheres. Their professional career, therefore, adds all the responsibility for the home and the education of their children.

Although it is true that in the case of housework many times the role of men is equal and both members of the couple collaborate, the same is not the case with regard to the care of dependent persons. Nowadays, the care of the elderly or children with disabilities falls almost exclusively on the woman.

I am a woman who does not need to prove anything to anyone

I am a woman who does not need to prove anything to anyone

I'm the kind of woman who doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. I got tired of pleasing others, of giving explanations

Housework and daily arrangements

Housework is not an exclusive duty to anyone and, in fact, is completely interchangeable . Ironing is not a 'mom' thing and unclogging a sink is not a 'daddy' task. Maintaining a home, both economically and in terms of housekeeping and maintenance, is the duty of everyone who lives under that roof, regardless of their gender.

The curious fact is that, even today, we continue to hear women saying ' My husband helps me around the house ”or men who say“ I help my partner wash the dishes ' . Perhaps, as we suggested earlier, it is a simple linguistic inertia, but this betrays a rigid patriarchal pattern built into our minds, in which any task is tinged with pink or blue.

Daily chords and balanced subdivision bring harmony to that domestic routine which leads us so easily to quarrel. It only takes a moment to get to the 'You never do anything' or 'When I get home I'm tired'. Agreements must not be made for a simple criterion of 'equality' or on the basis of gender roles, but based on logic and common sense.


If my partner works all day and I am unemployed or I have freely decided that I want to stay at home to take care of the children, I cannot require him to make me dinner and hang out my clothes. Similarly, even the education of children cannot be the task of a single parent. Mothers don't have to be a 'super mom'. A child is the responsibility of the two people who have decided to bring him into the world, not to mention that both parents should serve as a model, showing him, for example, that cooking is nobody's territory.

That making the bed, taking the dog out or cleaning the house does not mean 'helping mom' or 'helping dad', but it is a shared responsibility.

Housewife: the face of invisible women

Housewife: the face of invisible women

The role of the housewife is paradoxically invisible in our society, yet it is one of the most important jobs in the world.