Liquid love. You may have already heard of this interesting concept expressed by Zygmunt Bauman, a sociologist . This poetic but at the same time disheartening image contains a reality that seems to be quite common today: the fragility of emotional bonds.
An idea associated with the essence that seems to characterize our society, in which fleetingness is often valued, the consumerism that satisfies a need momentary and then disappears . However, we must point out one interesting thing.
We are not just talking about interpersonal relationships, but also about the relationship that everyone establishes with himself, what Bauman himself calls 'liquidity of self-love' .
Are you aware, for example, that to love someone and have a mature relationship, you must first love yourself? That's right, this is a common problem in our society, this lack of self esteem and self-evaluation leads us to lose others and even ourselves . All this for not having 'solidified self-love'.
Today we are talking about this very interesting concept, liquid love.
Liquid love and individuality
Sometimes, establishing a strong bond with one person isn't easy for everyone. Behind the commitment, there is a sense of responsibility and personal transcendence that perhaps not everyone is willing to assume. It is also possible that there is the fear factor, in addition to personal immaturity, which prevents one from conceiving report solid, stable and with future prospects .
Bauman himself explains to us that many relationships today are 'connections' rather than 'relationships'. We are not only referring to the role of new technologies and social networks, which allow us to communicate with more people when we want.
This concept goes a little further. Individualism aims only to satisfy specific needs with a beginning and an end, hence the idea of 'liquid love', emotions that cannot be held back and that flee fleetingly from the hands until they disappear completely .
This, without a shadow of a doubt, seems disheartening. We live in a world where the real is sometimes combined with the virtual, a liquid modernity in which many things seem to slip out of our hands.
We start unstable relationships because our society seems to encourage more flexible human relationships. And no, we are not just talking about couple relationships, think also about education of the little ones .
We give them numerous games, technologies, we start a mechanism based on blackmail whereby every time they pass a test, they receive a gift. We drop them almost unwittingly into a consumer society with low values, creating individuals who in turn become tyrants, who do not recognize limits and who, somehow, end up becoming 'liquid'. Their friendships are born on social networks and to close a relationship when it no longer interests you, simply press the 'block or report as spam' button .
All of this is shocking, no doubt.
The importance of self-love to combat 'liquid love'
We are not consumer goods and we do not have planned obsolescence like household appliances . As people, we think, feel and love. But we must always start with ourselves, considering ourselves as people who deserve to be loved.
A liquid love always leaves us with the heart empty and nobody likes this, the consumer is always hungry and deeply dissatisfied . What do we need this for? What is the use of living with such uncertainty?
1. Sometimes, behind a liquid love, personal insecurity is hidden . The fact of considering ourselves unable to maintain a bond strong enough to last over time, to build a future with another person.
2. Insecurity reflects a self esteem which has not developed adequately . For this we seek only a punctual satisfaction and then escape. Any form of commitment could highlight the lack of competence, immaturity. But why not give it a try?
In this life nothing is sure and we all grope through the fog . If we begin to have a little more confidence in ourselves, we will gradually advance with greater confidence, until we reach stability; all thanks to the authentic commitment we have made with ourselves and with the people around us.
3. Bauman says that, however be happy , two fundamental values must be kept in mind: freedom and security . Security without freedom is slavery, but freedom without security is total chaos. We all need both dimensions to find balance in our life.
Do you agree?